Leadership, especially for women, is a complicated roux of expectations, compassion, and integrity. Four ladies who lead in our bluegrass community (Missy Raines, Nancy Cardwell Webster, Becky Buller, and Lillian Werbin) discussed their compassionate, but exacting leadership roles with moderator Dr. Annie Savage of James Madison University’s School of Music. During the 2025 IBMA World of Bluegrass Business Conference, this feminine quartet talked openly about their varied roles in our shared musical communities, and what systems they have in place to manage their time and energy while honoring their personal needs.
Becky, leader of the Becky Buller Band, began with a personal strategy of how she manages her workload of daily tasks that she faces as band leader.
“I have lists all over my house. I am continually trying to get organized. I have a five-year calendar. I like paper. I also use BAND app on my phone for [contacting] my band.”
Lillian, CEO and president of Elderly Instruments, chimed in.
“I’m also chasing organization. I’ve learned to be flexible with rigid time restraints: not managing time, but all the expectations that I face.”
Nancy, Executive Director of the IBMA Foundation, interjected…
“I keep a careful calendar. I have a strategic plan. Ask yourself, ‘What do you want to accomplish?’ I have to schedule time not to work!
I like a calm environment. I should have been a librarian. I turn off all the notifications on my phone. You are in charge of your phone.”
Missy, band leader of Missy Raines & Allegheny, shared, “I’ve spent my adult life trying to figure out time management. Keeping your list in a place you can find it is crucial. I put mine on the wall. [It helps] to keep it vertical. And I use a timer.”
Discussing their individual duties, Becky revealed…
“I started my band 10 years ago. I wrote down goals, and now it’s time to reset.”
Lillian noted…
“I think about all the things I manage and am a part of. I run a music store, sit on quite a few boards, and run a couple of camps. I spend time doing community work. Every different task has a different set of different responsibilities. Give yourself grace.”
Missy elaborated on expectations for specific goals when it comes to being kind, empathic, and nurturing in our society.
“I think this is really important for leadership roles and it’s not gender specific at all. As a band leader since 2009, I didn’t think about being an empathetic leader. I have to be me, and be true to myself and really own it. Stand up for yourself. I lean into empathy and kindness: what I want shown back to me. If you have someone lashing out aggressively, how you choose to respond is self-care. Take a breath.”
Nancy responded in kind.
“Being kind is a human quality. It is respectful to listen. You need to know you can’t please everybody. I enjoy people. I think they are all so interesting. Differences make us stronger. Adjust if you make a mistake.”
She stressed the help we all receive within our community.
“All of us have been mentored or mentor others. We’re all standing on someone else’s shoulders.”
Becky confessed that…
“As a band leader, I still feel like I am learning. I was a side person for a long time. I am a people pleaser. Learn to be open. Make sure the members in your band are invested.”
Lillian shared her personal experience.
“I took over my family’s business with 40 employees. I make sure I understand them as individuals, and that we share common goals.”
Dr. Savage interjected…
“Embrace the power of no! Surrender is a big part of being happy.”
Missy stressed…
“Empathy doesn’t mean you allow things to happen. It’s not a weakness. It’s a strength. Trusting yourself to get there in your own time. Put yourself first. Practice that so it keeps you grounded. Find your happy place.”
Nancy concurred, saying…
“I like to be out in the woods with nature. It calms me. We stay inside and forget about the beauty outside. It helps me to pray and be grateful for the gifts that I’ve been given.”
Lillian added…
“When it comes to negativity, you have to be able to tune it out.”
Nancy agreed.
“Deflect with humor, but stand up for yourself.”
Sharing a strategy that helps her mental health, Missy revealed.
“I make my bed every day and take hot showers.”
Next the ladies discussed gender discrimination in today’s bluegrass community.
Misty admitted…
“I suspect it’s better, but not completely better. I’m praying it’s better. We’ve come along way, but there’s a long way to go.”
Nancy praised her constituents.
“Thank God for all these women who have had their own bands. Financial success speaks loudly.”
Missy shared a personal experience.
“Eddie Adcock stood up for me. I booked us for festivals, but most promoters would not give me our band’s money. He said, ‘Go back and get the money.’ That led to some great relationships.”
Nancy teased back in response.
“What would Hazel Dickens or Gloria Belle say?”
Next the ladies discussed holding to their morals and values.
Becky relayed a story.
“I was asked to do a TV show. It ended up being me and the Fairfield Four. My label was concerned about it. I said, ‘I’ll go sing wherever I’m invited, and I’ll sing about God.’
Gospel music has been part of the fabric of our music, but it is becoming increasingly unwelcome. I don’t feel like I can compromise on that. I reached out to Rhonda Vincent. She said, ‘I always think: what would Dolly do? Dolly wouldn’t let anyone make her say something that she didn’t want to say.’ I ended up singing and not talking so it was fine.”
Lillian shared her personal experience with a customer who was exuding extreme negativity.
“In the music store is a repair shop. I had a customer bring in an instrument and make disparaging remarks to one of my employees that absolutely crossed my personal values. I spoke with the manager of that department. We decided to return his instrument without repairs because he was no longer welcome to use our repair services.”
The session concluded with questions and comments from the audience. This quartet of powerful women, and many others like them, are paving the way for the next generation of females within our industry.
